This Could Be It…

This time, I thought I’d take a page from the book of Bill Simmons… my idol. Unlike him, I’m not a Celtics fan, nor do I live in Los Angeles. I’m merely a basketball fan. And as a basketball fan, I’d like my readers to delve into the mind of a basketball fan. Therefore, this is going to be my very first NBA diary. For those not familiar with an NBA diary, I’m going to watch the entire game and chronicle my thoughts throughout the game. So here we go. Game 5 of the NBA Finals.

9:09pm- I have a weird feeling that Kobe’s going to try to score all the points in this game.

9:11pm- Some bump on Fisher. Looks like a phantom push to me. Maybe if a politician was shot in the crowd, we could see Fisher’s reaction time like that boxer in Snake Eyes. By the way, Snake eyes = awesome movie.

9:12pm- Nice shot from Garnett, followed by a really wide open shot by Fisher. Like I said, some bump, huh?

9:20pm- Maybe the Celtics are baiting the Lakers into another huge lead and then coming back again.

9:22pm- I told you Kobe was gonna try to score all the points.

9:23pm- 14 of the Lakers’ 24 points. He’s already outscored both the Celtics and his own teammates!!!

9:24pm- Thats it. Kobe’s left the game. Black Mamba just checked in. And will someone let the Lakers fans know that you’re not supposed to chant MVP after your player has already won it. Thanks to Jeff Van Gundy for pointing that out as I was typing this.

9:26pm- What a pass from Kobe… oops I mean Black Mamba to Gasol. After Odom’s lucky lay-up, its 31-15 and here comes a timeout. Now I can go do my taxes.

9:31pm- Garnett just got called for his second foul. And Kendrick Perkins is already not playing. Hmmm… is Dick Bavetta here. Yup, found him.

9:33pm- Is Sasha Vujacic in a contract year? His playoff performance reminds me of what Jerome James did to parlay his $30 million contract. Thank God for Donnie Walsh.

9:34pm- I wish I had a laptop. I’d be a lot more comfortable.

9:36pm- End of the first quarter. 39-21 and Kobe has 15. Umm… Doc? You might want to tell your guys to play some defense.

9:43pm- Wow. Chris Mihm is alive. How obscure of him.

9:45pm- Back to back fouls on Chris Mihm. Thats gotta be the highlight of his season.

9:46pm- Stupid Tony Allen. Wait for your team to come back after you make a good play. Don’t spoil your one good play of the year. Here comes another tv timeout. I’m gonna go rotate someone’s tires.

9:52pm- Interesting play there. Ronny Turiaf called for a charge and no one helps him up.

9:54pm- Garnett picked up his third foul. Looked like all ball to me. Here’s a thought. If the Celtics win the title tonight without Garnett’s help, would he feel good about the win?

9:56pm- The Lakers have been outscored 18-8 this quarter and haven’t scored in the last 5 minutes. 18 points already for Paul Pierce and Kobe just shot a “you shoulda had that” look to Pau Gasol. NBA… I love this game.

10:03pm- Maybe Cassell should just stop shooting. Holy crap, Odom just scored. Its because he’s from Queens.

10:09pm- For some reason, Tony Allen has been in the game almost the entire second quarter. I wonder if Doc got confused and didn’t realize that Tony Allen wasn’t Ray Allen. Wait, now they’re both in. Thats gotta be really confusing.

10:12pm- What a move by Odom. Should’ve been a foul.

10:14pm- If I were Dick Bavetta, I’d avoid any controversial calls. I mean, Tim Donaghy just came out and threw you under the bus last week, and he makes a great point, despite being a liar.

10:15pm- End of the second quarter, 55-52. Kobe had no points in the second quarter. He’s relatively calm at halftime talking to Michelle Tafoya. I wonder which one of his teammates he’s going to kill in the locker room.

10:40pm- Ray Allen just tied the game. How about that Jesus Shuttlesworth?

10:41pm- Celtics take their first lead of the game with Paul Pierce’s free throws. Kobe’s back in. Black Mamba fell alseep on the bench.

10:42pm- Never mind. Mamba’s back. He chased down a loose ball and put it back up for the points and the foul.

10:54PM- Celtics just took a timeout after a surprisingly clutch three pointer from Radmanovic. Maybe Doc would feel more comfortable winning in Boston. On a side note, Dark Knight looks awesome and I can’t wait until that movie comes out. Even farther side note, why is Wendy’s saying that their food is better than fast food when its actually fast food? Frankly, I thought the whole “good food, fast” promotion was cool.

10:58pm- Christ, Sly Stallone can’t even smile anymore. Can’t Congress step in and regulate the use of Botox? I think thats more of a threat to human life than steroids are.

11:01pm- Holy crap. Its Brian Shaw. Almost forgot he was an assistant coach in LA.

11:04pm- Doesn’t PJ Brown always looks like he smells something bad? Kinda like the way Kurt Thomas always looks angry, and Sam Cassell always looks surprised.

11:05pm- I’m telling you, Cassell should just stop shooting.

11:07pm- Thats the third time Dick Bavetta has called someone out of bounds in virtually the same spot. The fix is in. Thats right, I said it. Furthermore, (tangent time) why don’t more coaches just try to get the oppposing team’s best player fouled out? Worked for me in NBA Live and to a lesser extent, NBA 2K. Kobe has four fouls in the third quarter. I’d make him work.

11:10pm- Horrible pass by Eddie House after he had the open lane. I think Mike Breen is legitimately excited about this 18 hole playoff between Tiger Woods and Rocco Mediate tomorrow. He keeps bringing it up. Even more than he might have to.

11:12pm- End of the third quarter, Lakers up 79-70. On the bright side, if the Lakers win, I get a little more practice at this NBA diary thing.

11:17pm- I dont know what the hell is going on, but three different cops cars just sped past my house. That can’t be good.

11:20pm- I kinda want that new Samsung phone. And apparently, Mars is still stuck in the 1970s. My vote for T-Mobile Player of the Game? Definately Chris Mihm.

11:26pm- Wow… Sam Cassell just threw Vujacic to the ground. Really hard.

11:27pm- Smart play by the wily veteran Cassell. Contact and the foul.

11:37pm- EVeryone keeps bringing up the Celtics turnaround from last season. Technically, if the Knicks were to win 66 games or more next season, that would be the largest turnaround in NBA history. I’m not saying its going to happen, but a man can dream, right? oh yeah, the Celtics just tied the game with about four minutes left.

11:46pm- What did Paul Pierce just yell out when Lamar Odom was at the line? Sounded like he said porn.

11:50pm- I think one of the best part about sports is reading the players’ lips when they’re upset. Makes you remember how human they are.

11:51pm- I’m convinced that Laker fans didn’t get the memo that Kobe won the MVP. Either that or they’re hellbent on reminding him every time he shoots free throws. I hope this doesn’t become a trend in the NBA.

11:55pm- A steal followed by a wide open dunk that caused Mark Jackson to say, “Mama, there go that man!” I’m calling MSG as we speak. Gus Johnson and Mark Jackson together in the booth? Magical.

11:58pm- Get ready for the longest 26.8 seconds of your life. Garnett should’ve just dunked that. Or at least pulled it down to try and draw the foul.

12:00pm- Why is Rondo still on the bench? He hasn’t played the entire fourth quarter.

12:02pm- Ouch. Thats a bad miss by House.

12:05pm- House redeemed himself but its too little, too late. Thats the game. Lakers win, 103-98.

12:09pm- Kobe wins T-Mobile Player of the Game. There goes my vote for Chris Mihm.

So, I guess its on to the “Final Four” for Kobe. This sucks though. I was hoping this series would end tonight. I like watching The Office re-runs on Tuesday nights. Now I have to flip back and forth. Sounds like a lot of work to me. Anyway, after watching this game, I’m taking a few things from it.

1) Chris Mihm needs to play. Seriously. Why not? Its Chris Mihm, candidate for T-Mobile Player of the Game.

2) Doc Rivers has to come up with a better plan with who he’s going to play. I don’t see how Rajon Rondo could miss the entire fourth quarter. I know Tony Allen played well, and Sam Cassell did alright late in the game, but I think Rondo gives them the best chance to win.

3) Kendrick Perkins and Leon Powe need to step up in Game 6 because without them, things like this happen.

As always, here are a few things I’ve been thinking about.

– I don’t know how long Jeremy Shockey is going to be on the team but having a shouting match with the general manager isn’t a good sign. People keep saying, “Well, they won the Super Bowl without Shockey so they must be better without him.” Has anyone ever considered the fact that other NFL teams hadn’t had time or enough information on Kevin Boss to gameplan against him? Or how about the fact that the Giants average one yard per carry more when Shockey plays? Its only one yard, but it matters. You can’t subtract a guy like Shockey and be better. Thats not how it works.

– I keep saying it but I don’t blame Willie Randolph for the team’s problems. He’s not out there with Billy Wagner blowing saves. Three blown saves in the past week or so. Thats three more wins they have had.

– Is Ken Griffey Jr. serious about waiving his no-trade clause to go to Tampa Bay? Oh wait… they’re a contender. Almost forgot.

– I went to the store today to buy some yogurt and it was 3 for 2 bucks. Thats almost 70 cents each. Eventually, I’m going to have to take out a second mortgage to have some godamn dairy!