Home Articles/Editorials NFL 2013 Power Rankings – Week 9

NFL 2013 Power Rankings – Week 9

We’ve past the halfway mark of the regular season and we’re starting to get a good idea of who the bad teams are and who the good teams are. Enough banter, on to the rankings.

32. Jacksonville Jaguars (0-8) (32) – Even though they were on a bye week, they still lost. Justin Blackmon was suspended indefinitely for violating the league’s substance abuse policy. Even when they don’t play the Jaguars somehow lose. Next game: @ Tennessee Titans

31. Tampa Bay Buccaneers (0-8) (31) – The Bucs probably should have won this game. But just like the way good teams find a way to win, bad teams can find a way to lose. Defensively they made mistakes and let Seattle get back in it. Offensively they were stifled in the second half and only scored three points in the last 30-plus minutes. The bright sides to the Bucs offense was that they managed over 200 rushing yards and Mike Glennon looked good. Next game: vs Miami Dolphins (MNF)

30. Minnesota Vikings (1-7) (30) – The Vikes are another team that probably should have won their game. Adrian Peterson looked like the reigning MVP that he is and Christian Ponder was able to move the ball both through the air and on the ground. The defense, probably the worst that Jared Allen has ever been a part of, gave up a lot of big plays and let Tony Romo go crazy. Maybe they make a run for Clowney in the draft because it seems like they trust Christian Ponder. Next game: vs Washington Redskins (TNF)

29. St Louis Rams (3-6) (29) – The Rams came into the game with high expectations around the defense but it was the offense that kept the team in the game. The seemed to have found their franchise running back in Zac Stacy after he ran for over 100 yards for the second straight game. Even Kellen Clemens played relatively well. The offense turned the ball over twice, which never helps. The defense couldn’t seem to stop Chris Johnson, who ran for his first touchdown of the season. By the way, what the hell has happened to Jared Cook since Week 1?  Next game: @ Indianapolis Colts

28. Oakland Raiders (3-5) (26) – The Raiders defense was ranked in the top 10 in the league before their game. Its safe to say that they’ll drop out after Nick Foles and the Eagles offense torched them for seven passing touchdowns. Terrelle Pryor’s turnovers overshadowed his near 400 yards of offense and even Rashad Jennings was able to rush for over 100 yards and a touchdown, but it wash’t enough. DJ Hayden had a nightmare game and was picked on early and often. Next game: @ New York Giants

27. Atlanta Falcons (2-6) (25) – Matt Ryan hasn’t been very consistent this season and a big part of that has been due to injuries to some of the best players around him. This would’ve been a tough game regardless of health. The Panthers defense came to play and turned Matty Ice over four times. It doesn’t look like the Falcons will make the playoffs and I think they missed an opportunity to trade their best asset for future picks.Next game: vs Seattle Seahawks

26. Pittsburgh Steelers (2-6) (24) – I’m sure all Steelers fans are thinking the same thing I’m thinking right now after their team gave up the most points in franchise history to a team whose quarterback has had one of the lowest QB ratings in the league. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO THE STEELERS?!? I mean, the offense showed up, putting up 31 points but giving up a double nickel? To the Pats? With Tom Brady? Who’s been playing like Chad Pennington circa 2007? Disgusting. Steelers fans deserve better. Next game: vs Buffalo Bills

25. Buffalo Bills (3-6) (23) – I don’t think the Bills are really all that bad. They ran into a buzz saw of a defense in the Chiefs. They did turn the ball over three times, two of which were returned for defensive touchdowns. But you know what? Jeff Tuel is their backup quarterback and they ran the ball very well against a good defense. They won’t make the playoffs but the Bills have a solid foundation to build on in a winnable division over the next few years. Next game: @ Pittsburgh Steelers

24. Philadelphia Eagles (4-5) (28) – The Eagles once again made Chip Kelly look like the offensive genius that was advertised coming from Oregon. A lot of experts wrote him off after the past two weeks when they couldn’t get going offensively. While Foles won’t do this every week, it’ll be interesting to see how the team moves forward with or without Michael Vick. LeSean McCoy didn’t have a very good game rushing but he didn’t need to. Next game: @ Green Bay Packers

23. Tennessee Titans (4-4) (27) – In a another installment of rivalry stemming from Super Bowl 34, this game lived up to its predecessor. The Titans, who are clearly the better team at this point, ran all over the Rams and probably would have won by more if Jake Locker hadn’t turned the ball over twice. The offensive line didn’t do him any favors, allowing four sacks. I think the Titans can make some noise in the second half of the season. Next game: vs Jacksonville Jaguars

22. Houston Texans (2-6) (18) – As someone at my job has said to me, “The Texans are snake bitten.” They really are. They’re not a good team. They get a big lead at home against a good team on Sunday Night Football and blow it, giving up 21 straight points. And on top of that, they’re head coach leaves the game after collapsing on the sideline. Maybe they were worried and they lost focus. I sincerely hope Gary Kubiak is alright but this team isn’t any good. Next game: @ Arizona Cardinals

21. San Diego Chargers (4-4) (16) – The Chargers are schizophrenic. One week they look like they can make a run to a wildcard spot in the AFC (because there’s no way they win that division) then the next week they look like they couldn’t be coached out of a paper bag and proceed to lose in overtime to one of the worst defenses in the league. Explain to me, Mike McCoy, why you chose to run the ball with Danny Woodhead…UP THE MIDDLE!!!!! Especially when you have Ryan Mathews, who’s having a great season. EXPLAIN! Please, I beg of you. How could you lose in overtime to a team with a one legged quarterback, coached by Mike Shanahan…who I’m fairly certain still believes its 1997. I’m angry at a team I don’t root for. I just feel bad for Phillip Rivers. Next game: vs Denver Broncos

20. New York Giants (2-6) (20) – Bye Week. Next game: vs Oakland Raiders

19. Washington Redskins (3-5) (22) – Don’t give me that look Redskins fans. First off, decided on a godamn name. Is it racist or not? Secondly, your quarterback isn’t ready to play an he’s having a sophomore slump. Third, WOULD YOU PLEASE PICK A RUNNING BACK???? For the second time in the last four weeks, Alfred Morris has been cultured out of three touchdowns. I think Mike Shanahan knows that I have him on my fantasy team and is intent on screwing me over. First Roy Helu vultures three touchdowns so what I do I do? I pick up Roy Helu. Then they decide that Darrell Young, a no-name fullback needs some love and let him get three touchdowns. I mean, why not right? I hate you Redskins. I hate you so much. Next game: @ Minnesota Vikings (TNF)

18. Cleveland Browns (4-5) (21) – If you listened to the show this week, you know I like Jason Campbell. Whats not to like? He’s got a good arm, he’s mobile and if he’s coached well enough, he wins games. By the way, if the Browns make the playoffs, I vote Rob Chudzinski for Coach of the Year. And don’t think its a long shot. The Browns are good. Plus Chud has Hurricane ties. Go Canes. Next game: Bye Week

17. Arizona Cardinals (4-4) (17) – Bye Week. Next game: vs Houston Texans

16. Baltimore Ravens (3-5) (14) – I don’t hate Joe Flacco. I hate his contract and I hate that the owner basically forced Ozzie Newsome, the best GM in football, to give him too much money. Let this be a lesson to you, NFL owners. Don’t fall for the bullshit that follows your quarterback if he leads your team to a Super Bowl win in a contract year. The Ravens defense is pretty good but the offense continuously puts them in bad situations. 250 yards, two touchdowns and a pick isn’t bad but giving up five sacks and rushing for less than 50 yards isn’t good. Do better, “Super Bowl Champions.” Next game: vs Cincinnati Bengals

15. New York Jets (5-4) (19) – Geno Smith and the offense needs to thank Muhammad Wilkerson and the defense. That is the only reason they won this game. Oh and Chris Ivory realized he’s actually better than Bilal Powell. But man that defense really harassed Drew Brees didn’t it? He’s still picking turf out of his helmet. If this defense can keep it up, they can make a run ala the 2007 Giants. They won’t though because Inconsistent Geno is going to screw it up. Speaking of the devil, if the Jets do make a run, I hope Geno doesn’t get all gassed up like Mark Sanchez did and turn into the bust we all thought he was from the jump. Next game: Bye Week

14. Miami Dolphins (4-4) (15) – Hey Dolphins, way to keep the state of pro football in Florida relevant. Good job by you. It was close there for a minute but you won in overtime by a safety. Your defense came to play and provided 8 points off of 4 turnovers. How about protecting your quarterback though? Speaking of protection, what the hell is going on down there with your linemen? Forget protecting the quarterback, how about protecting each other? We don’t know the full story with whats happening with Richie Incognito and Jonathan Martin but it seems to me that Incognito is trying to toughen up Martin and Martin hasn’t been able to handle the hazing. Maybe there’s more to it but I don’t know. This can’t be the first time in his life that Martin has been hazed so maybe it is excessive or uncalled for. Incognito seems to be adamant that he’s not the bad guy here and even other guys on the team seem to think its not a big deal so maybe Martin is a big baby. I just find it hard to believe that a 6’5” 312lb guy in a league full of tough guys would allow himself to be bullied. Next game: @ Tampa Bay Buccaneers

13. New Orleans Saints (6-2) (9) – Don’t look now Saints fans, but the Panthers are right on your tail, playing well, having won four games in a row. Your team better shrug this game off and get back to the business of winning or else its a wildcard spot and a first round exit for you. The Saints defense is still confused after that Josh Cribbs 25 yard pass completion. How do you lose to a team whose leading receivers were Greg Salas and Zach Sudfeld?  Next game: vs Dallas Cowboys (SNF)

12. Cincinnati Bengals (6-3) (6) – Pick an identity!! You’re too talented to lose that division. You should be 7-2 but you’re not and that disappoints me. You can’t put up 49 points against a good defense one week and then forget to show up against a team thats bullies its own players into paying for trips to Las Vegas that they don’t want to, and subsequently don’t, go on. Do better, Bengals…do better. I like Jay Gruden too much.Next game: @ Baltimore Ravens

11. Chicago Bears (5-3) (12) – The Bears are showing signs of life in a somewhat winnable division. They definitely should have lost this game to a good Packers team, especially considering they didn’t have their starting quarterback, but the defense took care of business, knocking out Aaron Rodgers for a short time and the offense ran the ball very well. They probably let Eddie Lacy gash them for more than they’d like but they came away with a win and thats what matters and will matter as we push into the second half of the season. Next game: vs Detroit Lions

10. Detroit Lions (5-3) (10) – Bye Week. Next game: @ Chicago Bears

9. Green Bay Packers (5-3) (5) – What can I say about the Packers? Seneca Wallace is incapable of leading your team against a team like the Bears that smelled the blood in the water. Completing 11 passes for 114 yards and a pick isn’t going to win you any games unless you’re lucky like the New England Patriots. Allowing 190 rushing yards isn’t good either. Now they’re tied for the lead in the division and things are looking a little scary for the Lambeau Lads. I just made that up. I know…its pretty good, right? Next game: vs Philadelphia Eagles

8. Carolina Panthers (5-3) (13) – Cam Newton has been playing out of his mind this season and with the division not totally wrapped up, he can help his team make things extremely interesting in the NFC South. Next game: @ San Francisco 49ers

7. Dallas Cowboys (5-4) (11) – It might be time to stop saying Tony Romo isn’t clutch. Late in the game, with time ticking down, Romo led the Cowboys on a scoring drive where he completed all of his eight passes, including the game winner to Dwayne Harris. But he’s not clutch right? Okay. They probably shouldn’t have been in this position to begin with but a win is a win. Next game: @ New Orleans Saints (SNF)

6. Indianapolis Colts (6-2) (8) – If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a million times. Good teams find ways to win and the Colts are a good team. 21 straight points in the second half? TY Hilton balling out of control? Donald Brown emerging as the feature back? The AFC is top heavy but man the playoffs are going to be interesting to watch. Next game: vs St Louis Rams

5. New England Patriots (7-2) (7) – Who is this team that showed up in Foxboro? Who are these frauds that seem to find ways to hold on to their stranglehold on the AFC East? Can anyone tell me where this team has been all season? Tom Brady threw for more yards against the Steelers than he has in his last two and a half games. It was the first time in franchise history that three different receivers have had over 100 yards receiving. Speaking of Brady, despite him playing well, he still didn’t look great. He put his receivers in bad situations and they bailed him out pretty often. On one pass to Aaron Dobson in particular, Dobson had beaten his man off the line and got good separation but Brady didn’t lead him and Dobson had to come back to the ball, preventing a touchdown. But Brady’s back right? Next game: Bye Week

4. Denver Broncos (7-1) (4) – Bye Week. Next game: @ San Diego Chargers

3. Seattle Seahawks (8-1) (3) – The Seahawks battled man. I think they’re just as good as the number one team in my rankings and they’re a legitimate contender to represent the NFC in the Super Bowl. A team that’s battled tested like this will be ready for the postseason. Next game: @ Atlanta Falcons

2. San Francisco 49ers (6-2) (2) – Bye Week. Next game: @ vs Carolina Panthers

1. Kansas City Chiefs (9-0) (1) – The Chiefs make me very conflicted. While they’re ranked first in my rankings, I don’t necessarily think they’re the best team in the league. They definitely have the best defense but the offense is mediocre. Alex Smith isn’t anything to write home about. Jamaal Charles can be stopped, as we saw against the Bills, and Dwayne Bowe has been super quiet this year. I think they missed an opportunity to get a great talent in Tony Gonzalez. If this team is led by their defense in the playoffs, they’re ready to win. If they lean on the offense, they’re one and done. Next game: Bye Week

As always, questions and comments can be directed to s_talouis@yahoo.com or follow me on twitter @FunnyManStan
The Queens native handles all things football on KeepingItRealSports.com. Stan attended Holy Cross High School in Flushing, Queens and SUNY Old Westbury. He's spent his post graduate career in different parts of the media, as an editorial assistant, a production assistant and a board operator. He can be followed on twitter @FunnyManStan and routinely performs standup comedy all over New York City.

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