2014 NFL Power Rankings – Week 9
At just about midseason, with every team playing at least eight games, Stan and I are doing things a little different. The Power Rankings will be tiered for the rest of the season, as some teams are starting to group together and others are really separating. This should be a lot of fun, as we flip-flop teams in and out of certain groupings every week.
Also, how awesome is it to have Robert Griffin III back? I mean, we had to trade Romo for him which forced Weeden into action, which was terrifying. Still, it is nice to have RGIII back. More importantly, MARKY MARK IS BACK IN MY LIFE! AND HE MIGHT LEAD THE FUNKY BUNCH TO THE PLAYOFFS.
THIS IS THE BEST!
Stan
The “Ugh” Tier
32. Oakland Raiders – How do we make it so that we don’t have to watch them play football until they’re competent?
31. Jacksonville Jaguars – The sad part is that there are a few guys on this team that actually know how to play the game.
30. Tampa Bay Buccaneers – They just announced that Josh McCown is going to start this week instead of Mike Glennon. Is someone else going to be coaching as well?
29. New York Jets – The “Jets” chapters of Rex Ryan’s book are going to be insane. I can’t wait to see how many ways he insults John Idzik.
28. Tennessee Titans – They’re so bad, I didn’t even realize that they didn’t play this week.
27. New York Giants – I’ve officially gotten to the point where I’m thinking about what this team is looking for in the draft. So many holes.
The “Wait For It!” Tier
26. Atlanta Falcons – They didn’t need a bye week, they need a bye season.
25. Carolina Panthers – The division isn’t squared away just yet. I still believe the Saints are going to run away with the division but if they don’t, Carolina doesn’t have to do a whole lot to stay in it.
24. Washington Redskins – A late loss to Minnesota doesn’t mean much when the Cowboys and Eagles both lost their quarterbacks.
23. St Louis Rams – Every time I watch this team, it makes me mad that the Giants missed an opportunity to draft Aaron Donald. You ever want to watch a mountain blow through offensive linemen? Watch the Rams defense.
22. Minnesota Vikings – Teddy missed some throws to a wide open Cordarelle Patterson (which screwed my fantasy team) but they played well enough to beat an explosive Redskins offense. They won’t make the playoffs but they might be a little fun to watch. Plus, Adrian Peterson reached a plea deal so…who knows?
21. Houston Texans – Arian Foster got hurt but they have a bye week coming up. The fun part is when they come back after the bye with a new quarterback. Unless Bill O’Brien is lying to us.
20. Chicago Bears – How is this team so mediocre? i know the defense is dreadful but look at some of the Colt teams that Peyton Manning took to the playoffs. You know what? Just as I was typing that I realized that it looks like I said Jay Cutler could do stuff that Peyton Manning does. I apologize.
The “WTF” Tier
19. Buffalo Bills – What the f**k? How am I so excited to see the next time they play the Patriots. I’m expecting concussions.
18. San Francisco 49ers – What the f**k is going on with this team? They don’t run when they should, they don’t run with the right personnel…its like they’re just waiting for the defense to do everything for them. As if they’re waiting for Aldon Smith and Co to come back and carry them to the playoffs.
17. Baltimore Ravens – What the f**k? is exactly what Steve Smith is yelling to each and every member of this team after that loss to the Steelers.
16. Cleveland Browns – What the f**k? The BROWNS ARE 5-3?! Love this defense by the way.
The “Don’t Get Too Excited” Tier
15. Pittsburgh Steelers – Ben Roethlisberger is playing as well as anyone in the league right now. As a matter of face, he’s playing better than anyone in the league right now. But the other shoe is bound to drop at some point.
14. Cincinnati Bengals – Andy Dalton. That is all.
13. Miami Dolphins – I believe in this defense. The offense? Not so much.
12. Kansas City Chiefs – Eventually when Jamaal Charles gets hurt, this team is going to go down in flames. I mean, they weren’t making the playoffs anyway.
11. Dallas Cowboys – Brandon Weeden. That is all. Isn’t it weird that Weeden finally got a chance to play with Dez Bryant again and couldn’t manage to get him the ball more than twice? Then again he did target Dez 1,386 times. Brandon Weeden sucks.
The “Not Quite Ready For Primetime Players” Tier
10. Philadelphia Eagles – What does it say about Nick Foles that Mark Sanchez can come in and do exactly the same thing? It says that both of them suck and Chip Kelly can turn anyone into a competent quarterback with unbelievable numbers.
9. New Orleans Saints – Until they rattle off a few more wins, I won’t believe the hype.
8. Detroit Lions – This defense is legit and Calvin Johnson is going to come back at some point.
7. San Diego Chargers – The Chargers have lost a few games in a row, but not to worry…they’ll bounce back. They’re too good not to.
The “Jim Jeffries Because They’re Totally Legit” Tier
6. Green Bay Packers – They’re going to win the NFC North because theres no competition in their division outside of the Lions, who will undoubtedly get in their own way.
5. Indianapolis Colts – It was bittersweet watching Andrew Luck destroy and pick apart my team. Love the guy, hate what he did. Its like Ray Rice all over again.
4. Seattle Seahawks – I’m actually a little worried that they only beat Oakland by 6.
3. Arizona Cardinals – If I told you that the Cardinals would be the best team in the NFC in November, would you believe me? Probably not. Lets just give Coach of the Year to Bruce Arians right now.
2. Denver Broncos – I don’t think you’ll get this result if you play this game again. I also don’t think this is the last time these two teams will play, but thats not really saying much.
1. New England Patriots – Ever since that loss to Kansas City when people said Tom Brady was done, this team has been on a tear. Its almost like the year after they got caught cheating and then went 18-0 before losing in the Super Bowl. Does any other team bounce back after adversity better than the Patriots? Alabama maybe? Unreal.
Rob
The “Almost Not Pathetic” Tier
32. Oakland Raiders
31. Jacksonville Jaguars
I believe this is true. The Raiders are a competent 0-8 team, and I like what I see from both the offense and the defense, particularly Derek Carr and Khalil Mack. The Jaguars defense has improved and the duo of Blake Bortles and Denard Robinson gives them life. Considering the rosters, I am impressed with the performance.
The “Waste Of Actual Talent” Tier
30. Tennessee Titans
29. Tampa Bay Buccaneers
28. New York Jets
27. New York Giants
These four teams are the opposite of the actual bottom two. They have players who could sniff Pro Bowls, or at least line up on the field without being laughed at. Yet they cannot come close to putting it together. The Buccaneers are so desperate they are going back to McCown. Also, I’m glad to see Stan drop them down (although I had them a spot higher originally until I tiered the list).
The “Surprisingly Frisky” Tier
26. Carolina Panthers
26. St. Louis Rams
24. Washington Redskins
23. Minnesota Vikings
The Panthers get bumped up into this tier because they really don’t have 15 NFL players on the roster. The Rams are winning with Austin Davis at quarterback. The Redskins and Vikings just had the most exciting bad team battle I’ve seen in a while, and I think all of these teams can make the big guys at the top sweat on any given day.
The “Half Teams” Tier
22. Houston Texans
21. Atlanta Falcons
20. Chicago Bears
Great defense. Great offense. Great offense. Bad teams. Really bad teams.
The “How Are They Not 3-13 Combined?!?” Tier
19. Cleveland Browns
18. Buffalo Bills
This might be the most on-the-nose of all my tiers. How are these two teams not a combined 3-15? Instead they are 10-6. Go figure.
The “Could Get Hot If They Sneak In” Tier
17. Kansas City Chiefs
16. Baltimore Ravens
15. San Francisco 49ers
All three of these teams have some six-seed Super Bowl run potential. The 49ers are still as talented as any team in the league and are waiting for Colin Kaepernick to get hot. The Chiefs have a defense that keeps them in everything and a quarterback who put up 44 points the last time he played in the playoffs, and was a few inches away from 51 points. As for the Ravens, I believe they are a dangerous team because Steve Smith could will them to victory at any given time.
The “Gingers Lose Always and Forever” Tier
14. Cincinnati Bengals
Whether they make the playoffs or not, I have a feeling the season will end with people questioning Andy Dalton’s big game ability.
The “Good Teams Pretending To Be Great” Tier
13. Detroit Lions
12. Philadelphia Eagles
11. San Diego Chargers
These teams can all get hot on either side of the football, can score points in bunches, and can deliver an impressive 60 minutes of football. At the same time, if they are not dictating the game—whether it be by dominating the line of scrimmage (Lions), keeping the defense on its heels (Eagles), or keeping the defense off the field (Chargers)—things will go south fast.
The “Great Team Pretending To Be Good” Tier
10. Seattle Seahawks
They just refuse to dictate the game, and they fail to get into a flow because of it.
The “Smoking Hot and Scary” Tier
9. Miami Dolphins
8. Pittsburgh Steelers
7. New Orleans Saints
Each one of these teams can press themselves up four or five more spots on this list if the quarterbacks continue to improve each week. Although it would be hard to fathom any of them improving their last two performances.
The “Who In The NFC Is Actually Good?” Tier
6. Dallas Cowboys
5. Green Bay Packers
4. Arizona Cardinals
These are three very flawed teams, much like the 11-13 teams or even the 20-22 teams. The only difference is that these three teams consistently force teams to adjust to them, as opposed to the other way around.
The “We Have The Best QB In Football” Tier
3. Indianapolis Colts
2. Denver Broncos
1. New England Patriots
I can hear the ghost of John Lennon singing.
“There’s nothing he can do that can’t be done. Nothing he can sling that can’t be slung. Nothing you can pay him that he won’t earn when he plays the game, it’s easy!All you need is Luck. *trumpets* All you need is Luck. *trumpets* All you need is Luck, yeah, Luck is all you need.”
The only way to stop him is to find his Yoko. I don’t know if any defense is up to that task, but Peyton Manning and Tom Brady will do their best to spoil his fun.
Not that the Broncos and Patriots don’t think that their own scorching hot quarterbacks are the best in the league, but all three of these guys have been lights out for weeks now.