NFL 2013 Power Rankings – Week 2

Another action packed week of NFL in the books and I’m about to diiiiiiiiiive in…that was a Trey Songz reference. You’re welcome. By the way, don’t be alarmed. The number in parentheses is the team’s ranking from last week.

32. Jacksonville Jaguars (0-2) (32) – New quarterback, same result. The Jags threw out Chad Henne in the hopes that they could muster up their first win of the season against the Oakland Raiders. Henne didn’t play that bad. He threw for 241 yards, a touchdown and didn’t turn the ball over. He was sacked a bunch and Maurice Jones-Drew never really got going on the ground. I did some research. Miami is about 350 miles away from Jacksonville. Miami is also where Louisville quarterback Teddy Bridgewater is from. Jacksonville is likely where he’ll end up. His family better get used to making that drive 8 times a year because the Jags really don’t look good and they might end up taking him with the first overall pick. Next game: @ Seattle Seahawks

31. Cleveland Browns (0-2) (31) – The Browns had some negatives in this game but there were also some positives. Weeden didn’t turn the ball over and Jordan Cameron had a pretty good game despite not scoring. Negatively, the Browns didn’t score at all after halftime and were held to 85 yards. Next game: @ Minnesota Vikings

30. Carolina Panthers (0-2) (28) – For the second straight week, the Panthers got a little unlucky. They ran the ball well, Cam Newton kept with the game plan of being more of a passer, and the defense forced turnovers. The Buffalo Bills were just a little better and a little luckier. Its not every day a team can win the turnover battle, have a higher TOP (time of possession) and lose. Next game: vs New York Giants

29. Pittsburgh Steelers (0-2) (29) – I never thought I’d see the Steelers this low in any power rankings but here they are. After last night’s loss to the Bengals, it doesn’t look like the Steelers are the same team they’ve been in years past. They couldn’t get the offense going and they couldn’t stop the run. Ryan Clark came out after the game and declared that the team needs to tackle better. That’s probably the understatement of the year. Next game: vs. Chicago Bears (SNF)

28. Tampa Bay Buccaneers (0-2) (27) – The Bucs keep getting in their own way. While they played well defensively and ran the ball well, Josh Freeman couldn’t really get going. The offense was hit with 10 penalties for 118 yards, including an illegal formation penalty that took away a 73 yard touchdown pass from Freeman to Vincent Jackson. This is another team that might be looking to change quarterbacks next April. Just as long as he knows to get the ball to my dude Kevin Ogletree…the pride of Holy Cross High School. Go Knights. Next game: @ New England Patriots

27. Minnesota Vikings (0-2) (25) – Make no mistake about it, the defense is the reason the Vikings were even in this game against the Bears. Well, for the first three quarters it was. Adrian Peterson looked mortal…mortal by his standards. Christian Ponder looked better than he normally does but he still had a completion percentage under 50% and threw an interception. The good news is they have a beatable team at home next week.  Next game: vs Cleveland Browns

26. Washington Redskins (0-2) (21) – I know they were playing the Packers but damn. At one point, someone on twitter joked around and said Aaron Rodgers would mess around and throw for 8 touchdowns. Dan Snyder and the Skins have focused so much on RG3 that they did almost nothing to improve their defense. Baccari Rambo is a solid safety but he’s still a rookie. On one particular play, Rodgers hit Jordy Nelson with a perfect pass in the corner of the end zone. Rambo read the play and was in position but the pass was as perfect as it had to be. Sometimes, as they they, it be like that. Next game: vs Detroit Lions

25. Arizona Cardinals (1-1) (30) – Look who’s moving up the rankings! The Cards played well and got some lucky breaks but thats what good teams do. The Cardinals aren’t a good team just yet but they’re on the way. Funny story, Calvin Johnson and Patrick Peterson took a page from soccer culture and exchanged jerseys after the game. I hope more players start doing this. Thats such a great sign of respect. Next game: @ New Orleans Saints

24. Oakland Raiders (1-1) (26) – I know they played Jacksonville but a win is a win. And Terrelle Pryor cut down a lot of the mistakes he made in week 1. This isn’t ground breaking analysis. Next game: @ Denver Broncos (MNF)

23. Buffalo Bills (1-1) (24) – EJ Manuel showed a lot of poise by carrying his team to a win over the Panthers with 2 seconds left to play. The offense played well against a solid Carolina Panthers team. CJ Spiller had a typical CJ Spiller game and the defense showed up, tallying six sacks. Next game: @ New York Jets

22. Tennessee Titans (1-1) (20) – The Titans caught an unlucky break in their loss to the Texans. Then again, they had plenty of opportunities to win the game both in regulation and overtime. Chris Johnson had a relatively pedestrian day on the ground and Jake Locker wasn’t very impressive. The defense did an alright job until the end when they gave up big plays to Andre Johnson and DeAndre Hopkins. Its almost like the Titans don’t realize they have talent on their team. Granted, they have a terrible quarterback…but still. Is it possible that they’re tanking to get a quarterback in the draft? Next game: vs San Diego Chargers

21. San Diego Chargers (1-1) (23) – How about the offensive show by Phillip Rivers and Eddie Royal? The Eagles defense isn’t very good but they made the Chargers look like an offensive juggernaut. Eddie Royal had three of his five touchdowns this weekend. Even Ryan Mathews looked relatively good. I want to take this time to wish a speedy recovery to Malcolm Floyd. Next game: @ Tennessee Titans

20. New York Giants (0-2) (18) – There’s good news and bad news for Giants fans. The bad news is they lost again and don’t look like a team that wants to play for a Super Bowl in their own stadium. The good news is they still look better than the Jets. Not a lot better but better nonetheless. The Giants kept it close but after halftime, it was never close. The once vaunted defensive line got no push and made Peyton Manning look like Fran Tarkenton. Is that reference too old? Deal with it. Next game: @ Carolina Panthers

19. New York Jets (1-1) (19) – Is it possible to look both better and worse at the same damn time? The Jets defense looked about the same but offensively they looked significantly worse. Geno Smith didn’t look good at all and the running game was non-existent. Realistically they should be 0-2. Count your blessings Jets fans. Next game: vs Buffalo Bills

18. Cincinnati Bengals (1-1) (22) – The Bengals did what they were supposed to do. They beat a struggling, injured Steelers team at home. Giovani Bernard showed flashes of what he’s capable of, Andy Dalton was way more efficient than he was last week and the tight ends showed off the creative offensive sets that Jay Gruden has cooked up. Good win for them and the Who Dat Nation. Next game: vs Green Bay Packers

17. Philadelphia Eagles (1-1) (17) – Chip Kelly’s offense continues to look good although I think they could have done a better job of running the ball. Or they could have passed more to LeSean McCoy. Basically just get the ball to LeSean McCoy. That should be the game plan. Like that episode Hey Arnold where the basketball coach’s entire strategy was to get the ball to Tucker. LeSean McCoy is Tucker. The Eagles defense is putrid. They let the Chargers throw all over them. Eddie Royal is somehow still scoring touchdowns on them. Next game: vs Chiefs (TNF)

16. St Louis Rams (1-1) (16) – The Rams couldn’t really get going offensively. Jared Cook was a beast last week and was held in check this week. Daryl Richardson was very mediocre. Tavon Austin is still trying to get into the offensive flow. The one bright spot for them was Chris Givens who had 5 catches and over 100 yards receiving. Sam Bradford also looked really good…except when he threw a pick six to Osi Umenyiora. Next game: @ Dallas Cowboys

15. Atlanta Falcons (1-1) (15) – Matt Ryan had a great first half and I’m disappointed that he took his foot off the gas. Julio Jones might have had the best game of any receiver this weekend with 11 catches (14 targets), 182 yards and a touchdown. I’m sure Stephen Jackson would’ve liked to do a little better against his former team but he did have a touchdown catch. Next game: @ Miami Dolphins

14. Indianapolis Colts (1-1) (12) – This game was a battle between two very similar teams. Second year quarterbacks, second year coaches,  tweaked offenses, subpar running games and no name defenses. The Colts made a few key mistakes but I don’t think this loss is very indicative of who they are as a team. Next game: @ San Francisco 49ers

13. Detroit Lions (1-1) (9) – The Lions didn’t really look that bad. Bill Bentley made a huge penalty in the end zone that set up the Rashard Mendenhall touchdown that pretty much ended the game. Matthew Stafford was very efficient and Megatron was Megatron. Defensively, the Lions weren’t dominant but they were without Nick Fairley. Reggie Bush took a helmet to the knee and may miss some time. If you have Reggie Bush on your fantasy team like I do, you’ll need to pick up Joique Bell. I hope thats how his name is spelled. I really don’t feel like double checking. I have an appointment with my therapist in half an hour and I’d like to finish this post. Also, my back hurts from this Starbucks bench. Next game: @ Washington Redskins

12. Dallas Cowboys (1-1) (8) – The Cowboys were carried for most of the game by Dez Bryant, because no one else on the offensive side of the ball was doing anything. He accounted for nearly half of Tony Romo’s yardage and his only touchdown. The running game couldn’t get going as Demarco Murray rushed for 25 yards on 12 carries. 2.1 yards per carry isn’t going to cut it and the Cowgirls have to know that. Defensively, they weren’t terrible but they didn’t produce any turnovers. Losing two fumbles didn’t help either. Next game: vs St Louis Rams

11. Miami Dolphins (2-0) (14) – The Dolphins are undefeated and are tied for first in the AFC East. Let that sink in. And they didn’t beat a team full of slouches either. Quality win. Thats all I have to say about that. Next game: vs Atlanta Falcons

10. Kansas City Chiefs (2-0) (13) – This is going to sound repetitive but the CHIEFS…the CHIEFS people…are 2-0 and also tied for first place in the AFC South. Alex Smith has a better record this year than Colin Kaepernick. You can take that with a grain of salt but numbers don’t lie. Next game: @ Philadelphia Eagles

9. Green Bay Packers (1-1) (11) – The Packers looked like the team that won a Super Bowl a few years ago. Aaron Rodgers looked like the best quarterback in the league and even James Starks looked awesome after Eddie Lacy went down with a concussion. It was all against a mediocre Redskins team but a win is win right? Especially a dominant win like this one. Next game: @ Cincinnati Bengals

8. Chicago Bears (2-0) (10) – The Bears looked good all around. Jay Cutler or Mr Fourth Quarter as Brandon Marshall called him, looked pretty good despite his two interceptions but more importantly- he was clutch. Matt Forte looked like he found a time machine. Martellus Bennett might have been their best offseason acquisition. Next game: @ Pittsburgh Steelers

7. San Francisco 49ers (1-1) (2) – The Niners were shellshocked by the Seahawks. You can tell Colin Kaepernick tried to stay in the pocket and pass more, which resulted in no touchdowns and three interceptions. Although when he got out of the pocket and ran, he did well, churning out 87 yards on 9 carries. The Seattle defense had their way with the Niners and I look forward to seeing them battle again later in the season. Next game: vs Indianapolis Colts

6. Baltimore Ravens (1-1) (7) – The Ravens recovered in a big way after their Week 1 loss to the Broncos and this time they looked like the Ravens everyone expects to see. Granted they played the Browns, but like I always say…a win is a win. Next game: vs Houston Texans

5. New England Patriots (2-0) (6)  – If you’re a Pats fan, count your lucky stars because your team hasn’t looked good. They haven’t look good at all. Now, by the end of the season they’ll be way better. It looks like Tom Brady and Aaron Dobson are starting to mesh more already as every week passes. They could very easily be 0-2 but will probably improve to 3-0. Next game: vs Tampa Bay Buccaneers

4. New Orleans Saints (2-0) (5) – Predictably the Saints took care of business against the Bucs. The score was a lot closer than anyone expected but they pulled it out with a late field goal. Drew Brees uncharacteristically threw two interceptions but Jimmy Graham tore it up with 10 catches on 16 targets for 179 yards and a touchdown. Next game: vs Arizona Cardinals

3. Houston Texans (2-0) (4) – The Texans survive a huge scare against Tennessee but pulled it out. Thats what good teams do. Good teams win the games they’re supposed to win, even if its in overtime. Next game: @ Baltimore Ravens

2. Seattle Seahawks (2-0) (3) – The Seahawks defense is the best in the league. When they held the Panthers to nine points, they showed it. When they held the Niners to 3 points and forced four turnovers, they really showed it. They’re playing the worst team in the league next week and Vegas already has the line at 16 and a half. Something tells me the Seahawks are going to cover. Next game: vs Jacksonville Jaguars

1. Denver Broncos (2-0) (1) – I don’t think that anyone is surprised the Broncos won. I also don’t think anyone will be surprised to see that they’re 14 and a half point favorites next week. The running game got going with Knowshon Moreno, the offensive line did a great job in pass protection, the defense forced several turnovers and special teams was great as Trindon Holliday ran back a punt return. Expect much of the same. Next game: vs Oakland Raiders

Questions or comments? Email me at s_talouis@yahoo.com or follow me on twitter @FunnyManStan although I may not respond because Grand Theft Auto 5 just came out and I’m officially a zombie.