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Judgement Day

I have some amazing news for you guys. Today at 8:00pm Eastern Pacific time I will be holding a press conference to announce which website I will be doing the majority of my writing for, I’ll give you a hint if that little gem right there isn’t enough to give it away then I have no idea what will. But on to more pressing matters, this years reality show, “For the love of Lebron” will finally be coming to an end tonight, with the finalist being, Ms. Cleveland, The ever so attractive, Ms. Miami, and the underdog dark horse of Ms. New York, and although it will only take him 15 seconds to announce what team he’ll be playing for over the next 5-6 years, he will instead suck out an additional 59 minutes and 45 seconds of our lives, in order to feed the hunger of his hulking ego.  But I digress. This isn’t about Lebrons ego, even though he looks like a complete Diva for having a one hour media circus press conference when rising star Kevin Durante showed all of us that a simple tweet or text would have been good enough. The real purpose of this column is to let you know why going to Miami would be career suicide for Lebron James. Granted this entire column may be irrelevant in a couple of hours, its still fun to talk about now while we have a chance.

if your scratching your head, its because you are only thinking about the pick up game potential that a team of Lebron James, Dwayne Wade, and Chris Bosh would offer. But lets take  a look at the actual facts. Say Lebron does sign with the Miami Heat, along with Chris *Attention Whore* Bosh, and his BFF Dwayne Wade he’ll be joining a team with an All Star power forward who isn’t the best shot blocker, has never made it past the second round, and has never played a full season of basketball. Wade is on the wrong side of 28 and has had several injury’s so his tank may not have as much as we think, but outside of those two players the team is stacked with Mario Chalmers, and Michael Beasley, two players that the Heat are not very high on, add a couple of salary minimum players, and you have a team that is nowhere near as deep as a championship contender needs to be. If you think that a team of Lebron, Wade, and Bosh, will be good enough to beat the Lakers in a seven game series, than you must not have seen this past seven game series between the Celtics.

But lets say for some reason none of these things are an issue, and the new Big Three breeze through the season and make it to the Playoffs, you have three Alpha dogs on one team, who takes the game winning shot, who takes over the game when needed, and who gets the most touches? The Cavaliers have gotten away without having a real point guard for so long because Lebron needs the ball for so much of his game to work. Do you think Wade, or even Bosh will be cool with that when their touches are diminished because King James is stacking up another triple double, yeah me neither. If thats still not enough for you, who do you think will be the party willing to take the Pay cut to come to Miami, yeah that should be a fun conversation for the new big three.

In the end no one really knows where Lebron is going so all of this talk could be for nothing, but with reports showing a strong sign that he could be headed to Miami, I thought I would do my part to deter the chosen one. His decision will come at some point during his completely unnecessary one hour special, and I will probably be hard at work on the reaction and response to his decision, and the memory of this column will fade into the abyss and it will be like these 600 plus words that I’m typing never existed. But if he does go to Miami, and he dosent win the title, and problems do exist between the big three, someone will refer back to this column and I will be known as the man who predicted all of this. But until that happens, lets just sit back and enjoy the Judgement day.

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